The first item in the Fellowship of Reason’s Statement of Belief and Intent is:

“I believe that Reason, not faith or superstition, is the best means of understanding reality.”

Have you ever felt that you wanted to express this to your birth family, but couldn’t? Many members of FOR have faced the same challenge and we can help you to manage a polite but firm and honest dialog with your family on this topic, one which will result in personal growth for all involved.

At the Fellowship of Reason we strive hard not to be “angry atheists”: there is so much more to living the good life --- to Eudaimonism --- than the singular issue of belief or disbelief in the Divine. But unfortunately, it is often the case that to assert our adherence to reason and not faith as our guide in life, we come into direct conflict with the deeply-held religious beliefs of our birth family and the community in which we were reared. You love your family, but all of a sudden there is nothing but anger, disappointment, rejection and negative emotions flowing. Or perhaps you’ve never even tried to face the issue with your family, fearing what might happen if you did.

If you find yourself in such a situation, remember that the “F” in FOR stands for Fellowship. Just ask around --- you’ll find an FOR member who’s been in a very similar situation. Ask them what happened. How did they manage the conversation with their families? Ask them to reflect on the things they thought they did right, or the mistakes they might have made. Chances are that you’ll find a listening ear and some good advice. But perhaps most importantly, you’ll find that you’re not alone in your struggle, nor are you the first to face this type of life crisis.

We hope that you will be able to strengthen your relationships to your birth family and community. Personal growth through reason can indeed happen! Many FOR members have experienced personal flourishing after “coming out of the closet” and have subsequently established more healthy and mature relationships with their families. As individual members, we can be a refuge for you and other friendly non-theists: we are committed to fellowship and to support one another’s life goals.

--FOR Member and Trustee Ron M.